The Perks of Being a Wallflower (1999) by Stephen Chbosky

I was so excited to start my reading New Year’s resolution that I quickly picked a book and devoured the entire thing in a single day. I could not have picked a better book to read from my New Year’s Resolution book list. When I picked out my first book to read I had decided that I did not want to just go in the list order so I picked a random number out of hat and went with it. The result of this was The Perks of Being a Wallflower (1999) by Stephen Chbosky.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower is narrated by a teenager who goes by the alias of "Charlie"; he describes various scenes in his life by writing a series of letters to an anonymous person, whom he does not know personally. The story explores topics such as introversion and the awkward times of adolescence. The book also touches briefly on drug use and Charlie's experiences with this. As the story progresses, various works of literature and film are referenced and their meanings discussed. At the very beginning of the book, Charlie is referred to as a wallflower for his ability to observe and understand things, but over the course of a year's worth of letters, Charlie explains the efforts of the people in his life to get him to "participate" or "do things" and the feelings and experiences he has as a result.

The author, Chbosky, names J.D. Salinger’s The Cather in the Rye as an inspiration, and he pays homage to Salinger’s work by naming it as one of the books that Charlie’s English teacher, Bill, gives him to read.

This was a great read for the New Year since it references quite a few books that are on my list such as Cather in the Rye (Salinger), The Great Gatsby (Fitzgerald), and On the Road (Kerouac). It also mentioned a few books I might add to my list once I finish the initial 15: This Side of Paradise (Fitzgerald), Walden (Thoreau), The Fountainhead (Rand), Naked Lunch (Burroughs), and A Separate Peace (Knowles).

Just a few of my favorite lines:

• "Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve."
• "And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."
• "My sister spent that next 10 minutes denouncing the Greek system of sororities and fraternities. She kept telling stories of 'hazing' and how kids have died before. She then told this one story about how she heard there was a sorority that made the new girls stand in their underwear while they circled their 'fat' in red magic marker." (my commentary on this... funny because these are still the same "rumors" that go around Greek life - I still joined a sorority).
• "Mark said that the amazing white stars were really only holes in the black glass of the dome, and when you went to heaven, the glass broke away, and there was nothing but a whole sheet of star white, which is brighter than anything but doesn't hurt your eyes. It was vast and open and thinly quiet, and I felt so small."
• "There's nothing like the deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons. It was that great."

Moving on to my next book… Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (for obvious reasons).

1. “The Great Gatsby” by F. Scott Fitzgerald "Pygmalion" by George Bernard Shaw

2. “A River Runs Through It” by Norman Maclean

3. “Lolita” by Vladimir Nabokov

4. “On the Road” by Jack Kerouac

5. “The Red Badge of Courage” by Stephan Crane

6. “Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger

7. “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” by Stephen Chbosky

8. “1984” by George Orwell

9. “Atlas Shrugged” by Ayn Rand

10. “Outliers: The Story of Success” by Malcolm Gladwell

11. “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho

12. “The Last of the Mohicans” by James Fenimore Cooper

13. “Antigone” by Sophocles
14. “The Grapes of Wrath” by John Steinbeck
15.

Capricorn Horoscope - 2012 New Years Edition

I've never been one to believe in horoscopes. For starters, they are always so vague that they could really apply to anyone, and also it seems like once you read them they instantly must happen and people force them to happen to matter what (so, all over the world there are 50,000 people who have read the same horoscope that told them to "jump off of a bridge" and they did...).


I kid, I know horoscopes don't really work like that - they are interpretive and don't give specific things that will happen. And like I said, for me that is just to vague.


But, there are the few times when I like to read them - mostly at the start of the New Year when everything is fresh and anything is possible. It's always that moment of "hm...where will I be this time next year?" that is so intriguing.


The website that I read it off of this year divides up the Capricorn sign into three decans: 1st decan born Dec 22 to 31, 2nd decan born Jan 1 to 10, 3rd decan born Jan 11 to 19. I would fall into the 1st decan with my birthday on December 27th. I liked this idea because it seemed to be a little bit more specific than just a general "Capricorn horoscope."


Capricorn decan 1 is in for a pretty full on 2012 because you guys are going through a very intense and life-changing period thanks to the biggest planetary alignment in over a generation. The Uranus Pluto square is directly affecting you because Pluto is in the early degrees of Capricorn, and Uranus is squaring your decan all of 2012. Those of you born from December 22 to 26 are now recovering from the Pluto conjunction over the last couple of years, but those born December 27 to 31 are facing the full force in 2012. All of you really should read my post on Pluto conjunct Sun transit and there are comments from other Capricorns describing how they are dealing with this extremely powerful energy, which can lead to deep and lasting change in your life direction. It can be very empowering and you will be driven, almost compulsively, to reform your life and improve your conditions, striving to reach your goals. The energy of Pluto is relentless and intense, giving you a powerful will to succeed.



So on top of this life transforming Pluto transit, you all have to contend with some radical and sometimes stressful changes because of a square from erratic Uranus. This is likely to mean that 2012 will bring the unexpected, a few surprises which increase the excitement levels but also mean that it may be difficult to find stability at work or at home and with your relationships. You may feel the energy of this Uranus square Sun transit as a desire to break away from restriction or boredom in your life, or it may come in the form of confrontation with others, or just unexpected events. The key for 2012 is to remain flexible an accept change in your life, take advantage of new opportunities because this really is a special time and you could totally transform your life for the better. From January to late March, luck is on your side with Jupiter trine Sun


For January 2012:

Decan 1 Capricorn has a busy start to 2012 with Mercury passing through your decan from January 8 to 15. Mental alertness and quick thinking come naturally and this helps you make the most of the increase in activity, meetings, correspondence and trips around town. You can express yourself with more confidence and ease, and better explain your ideas and plans. This is an ideal time for convincing others, buying and selling, and signing contracts. Venus sextile your decan from January 14 to 22 should bring more opportunities for love and money. You will be feeling more affectionate and can expect warm reactions from friends and partner. A good time for socializing or staying in with someone special. This would be a good month to get out and about making new friends or business contacts.

Doesn't sound like to bad of a New Year to me. :-)

Merry Christmas!!

I hope that everyone has a very merry and blessed Christmas!

This year December 25th is going to be a quite day for my family beause my dad is out of the states for work. It will just me, my mom, and my grandfather, and we will be going to church and then having a small dinner.

We will be celebrating a late Christmas in the beginning of January once my dad is home - my sister, brother-in-law, and nephew will be in town from Michigan, and my younger sister will be in town as well. We will be celebrating Baby O's (my nephew) first Christmas with lots of presents!



“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

My mom has been having to give me the “everything happens for a reason” lecture/chat/what have you, a lot recently.


It’s probably weird that I remember the first time she ever gave me this lecture, but I do. It was back in my senior year of high school when her and my dad had to sit me down and tell me that they were so proud of me for getting accepted into both of my dream schools (Temple University and Drexel University….both in Philly)but they couldn’t send me for financial reasons. They told me that it broke their hearts that this was the second time they had to give this talk to one of their kids because they had just done it three years prior with my older sister when she got accepted into Boston University. They had known how excited I was to go to Philly, it was like going home. My entire family is there. And for my mom, Temple University was extra exciting because it was her alma mater.

Needless to say, both my older sister and I ended up at UCF. It just made sense. We both had full ride scholarships. My mom and dad had sat both of us (my older sister and I) down at some point during our senior year and told us that “everything happens for a reason” and there was a reason that we were meant to stay in Florida and go to school. And they were, in fact, right. I mean I probably have a list miles long of people I would have never met had I gone in a different direction other than UCF; people who I know will be in my life forever. I’ve made amazing friendships through classes, sorority life, work, and even made amazing friends through other friends. And I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world – they mean so much to me.

Recently, I’ve been calling her a lot more than normal because she is the only person who can reassure me that everything is going to be okay. I tell myself every day that it is truly going to be okay. For Pete’s sake I wrote a whole blog entry about it, I ought to be able to fully believe it by now. Every time I call her in tears she says the same thing.

“Mariah, I know it’s not an ideal situation to have happened, but you know there is a purpose for all of this happening. Just think about it, had you not left UCF you would still be miserable as a Hospitality major. You would have never discovered how passionate you are for Art/Art History and being able to take the time to step back and realize that, at Valencia is a wonderful thing. I am so proud of how you have handled this entire situation and how much you have grown in the past two years.”

It’s actually a talk a lot longer than that, but that pretty much sums it up. I usually feel a million times better upon hanging up the phone after having one of these conversations with her, but recently that doesn’t seem to be the case. I feel like this stuff with UCF is a never ending fight and I am just getting tired and worn out from it, like my spirit is just being sucked from me.

I know my mom is right though. All of this is happening for a reason. Someday in the future I will look back on it and realize what that purpose was – but for now…bah...I’m just wicked confused and frustrated about it all.

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

Folks, there really must be something in the air….and for this lady right here, it is most definitely NOT love. Just wanted to clear that up from the beginning. There is no love to be seen within like a million mile radius around me. And I’m totally cool with that.


I don’t know what it is. I woke up yesterday and was just happy. Yes, I’m typically a happy person (for the most part), but this was a different kind of happy. The kind of happy that you only feel when you realize and fully understand that everything is going to be okay. The kind of happy where you are completely content with everything in your life right at this moment and cannot find a single reason to complain. Sure, you may not be where you thought you would be, but that’s okay.

I actually walked into work today a little before 10 o’clock this morning in an amazing mood…and surprisingly left the exact same way 12 hours later. And it’s weird. People notice. They notice when you spend the entire day happy and in a pleasant mood. I actually had a few people ask me what I was smoking and that they wanted some of whatever it was.

I don’t need the boy (boyfriend, fiancée, husband, sugar daddy, whatever), the white picket house thing, the 2.759 children, the gazillions of dollars, the absolutely perfect job that lets me balance said boyfriend/fiancée/husband/sugar daddy and 2.759 children with my desire to travel everywhere, see everything, do everything and skydive. There is a reason that none of that is a part of my life at this moment in time – I’m not ready for any of it and I am so glad for that. Someday, maybe? But today I'm just happy being who I am.

I mean, can you seriously imagine me with 2.759 children….awkward….

To all of my darling readers - I wish you the happiest of days tomorrow, and in everything you do!
 

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

Happy 24th Anniversary of MLK Weekend!

This past weekend happen to be Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend. I was lucky enough to get to venture up to D.C. and visit my older sister and her fiance. I helped them do a little planning. Tagged along on random outings to paper stores (for invitations), dress stores (for the obvious), and reception halls (duh). Chimed in with my opinion, when asked, not over-stepping any bridal boundaries, and provided a little comic relief when differing opinions got heated.

I had quite the adventure from the moment I stepped off the plane. Mom and Dad were supposed to pick me up from the Baltimore airport, having decided to forgo the rental car and just rely on Jordan's car (a 1989 Volvo, mind you) and the D.C. Metro (by far more reliable than aforementioned Volvo) as means of transportation, Murphy's Law kicked in. Jordan's car decided to break down a block away from her apartment as they were coming to get me. So, me with large suitcase in hand (well, on wheels) decided to figure out the train/subway/bus route between Baltimore and Washington D.C.

Everyone knows my amazing ability to get lost anywhere, no lie, I have even gotten lost driving down to south Florida and all that entails is hopping on I-95. Yeah, judge me. I'm even judging myself right now. I was hoping since I didn't have to do any of the actual driving I might actually be able to get by without getting lost. Wishful thinking that was. Let me count the ways I managed:

1) in the airport. Couldn't find the baggage claim, bus stop, or even the information desk. I blame it on poor planning on the airports end. Not my own. 2) the train station. Couldn't find the right ticket counter to buy my $6 MARC train ticket to Union Station, almost gave in and purchased a $35 Amtrak train ticket to Union Station because I was so frustrated and people in Baltimore were not being helpful. 3) once at Union Station I had to catch the Circular Bus. Was unable to find the parking garage that the bus stop was located in and almost ended up on a Metro that would have taken me in the complete opposite direction. Finally, a homeless man, who had already seen me pass by a million times pointed me in the right direction. 4) once I was sitting on the bus, map in hand, confused look on my face, waiting for us to leave the Union Station bus stop, a friendly fellow bus rider asked me where I was headed and if they could help me in anyway. I pointed to the general location that I wanted to go on the map and they pointed to a bus that had just pulled out and said "you need to be on that bus." Great. 5) I got on the correct bus, but almost got off at the wrong stop. I mean really, why exactly would you have TWO bus stops called 'Navy Yard' on the same bus route, and blocks apart?

Laugh. Go ahead. I give you permission. That's the point. I often times laugh at my own stupidity.

I finally, ended up finding my parents on the street corner across from Jordan's apartment waiting for a tow truck for the Volvo.

Just in case you were wondering...

We saw snow.

We got eaten by dinosaurs.

We sold slaves.
Side Note: We DID NOT sell slaves. Obvi. This building (currently the City Hall for Alexandria, VA) was once a slave market (where slaves had once been sold. You know, before Honest Abe and all).

We drank in the park.

We went to church.

We got mooned.

We drank copious amounts of Bailey's. Yum.

My apologies for the picture being blurry....it was from my cell.

When did we actually start growing up?

I was at work today and got a phone call from my older sister, that in it's self was odd because nowadays we pretty much keep in contact via email and text messages due to both of our randomly busy schedules. After I didn't answer I got a text message from her, "answer your phone asap!" I was instantly concerned. My first reaction, someone had died. Worried, I head back into the break room at work and call her back. She answers the phone and all I hear is:

"WILL YOU BE IN MY WEDDING PARTY!?!"

Obvi, the answer was yes, I'm pretty sure that was a given since, well, forever. I'm not even anywhere near being engaged and the one thing I am 100% sure about is that my older and younger sister will be standing next to me when I am getting married.

I was bouncing around work the rest of the day. I couldn't wait to get out and call my sister back and get all the important details.