They Call The Wind Mariah

I don't blog... no really, its pretty obvious from my lack of posts over the past few years. But, every once in awhile I try to start writing in my blog again - who reads no idea, and frankly I don't care. I do it for me. Every once in awhile something's pops up that I just want to share. Today is one of those days.

I had an interesting experience at the dog park yesterday. I try to take my puppy, Arya, there a few times during the week to get some energy out (she is a 7-month-old Beagle/Jack-Russell mix so she definitely has plenty of extra energy to spend). I sometimes talk with the other dog owners at the park, I have met some pretty interesting people there, but for the most part I stick to myself and let my little puppy do all the socializing.

My trip yesterday was a little different. I sat down on the bench like usual and started playing games on my phone, no big deal. An older gentleman comes in with his dog and we just start small talk chatting - "what kind of dog do you have? How long have you been here? What other dog parks have you checked out in the area?" - the usual dog park convos. We continue chatting for the next hour or so - turns out he is going back to school to be a veterinary technician, and him and his wife moved from New York, we both bonded over our love of history and at one point we both wanted to be teachers (I'm still thinking about going back to school for teaching).

The park closed at 6pm, and we both walked out chatting with a few of the other dog park patrons. As we went to go our separate ways, he turns to me and say "It was a pleasure speaking with you today. You are a beautiful, smart, intelligent, sweet young woman. I hope you never let anyone take advantage of you, and that you don't end up with a jerk."

I was kind of taken aback. We didn't talk about anything super personal throughout the day, however he felt the need to say that.

It really makes you think about how you perceive yourself vs. how others perceive you. I am very quick to pick out all of the flaws that I have - I may be a little overweight, and I don't have perfect skin, and I have a slight stutter when I talk - but even though I may be aware of all of these "flaws" that I think I have doesn't mean that they even affect other people in any way. I rarely take the time to compliment myself on anything and oftentimes think that everything that I do is never enough.

One of my goals for 2014 is to change the way I view myself. Stop being ashamed of who I am and what I have to offer to others and actually believe that I am "beautiful, smart, intelligent, and sweet."