“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

My mom has been having to give me the “everything happens for a reason” lecture/chat/what have you, a lot recently.


It’s probably weird that I remember the first time she ever gave me this lecture, but I do. It was back in my senior year of high school when her and my dad had to sit me down and tell me that they were so proud of me for getting accepted into both of my dream schools (Temple University and Drexel University….both in Philly)but they couldn’t send me for financial reasons. They told me that it broke their hearts that this was the second time they had to give this talk to one of their kids because they had just done it three years prior with my older sister when she got accepted into Boston University. They had known how excited I was to go to Philly, it was like going home. My entire family is there. And for my mom, Temple University was extra exciting because it was her alma mater.

Needless to say, both my older sister and I ended up at UCF. It just made sense. We both had full ride scholarships. My mom and dad had sat both of us (my older sister and I) down at some point during our senior year and told us that “everything happens for a reason” and there was a reason that we were meant to stay in Florida and go to school. And they were, in fact, right. I mean I probably have a list miles long of people I would have never met had I gone in a different direction other than UCF; people who I know will be in my life forever. I’ve made amazing friendships through classes, sorority life, work, and even made amazing friends through other friends. And I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world – they mean so much to me.

Recently, I’ve been calling her a lot more than normal because she is the only person who can reassure me that everything is going to be okay. I tell myself every day that it is truly going to be okay. For Pete’s sake I wrote a whole blog entry about it, I ought to be able to fully believe it by now. Every time I call her in tears she says the same thing.

“Mariah, I know it’s not an ideal situation to have happened, but you know there is a purpose for all of this happening. Just think about it, had you not left UCF you would still be miserable as a Hospitality major. You would have never discovered how passionate you are for Art/Art History and being able to take the time to step back and realize that, at Valencia is a wonderful thing. I am so proud of how you have handled this entire situation and how much you have grown in the past two years.”

It’s actually a talk a lot longer than that, but that pretty much sums it up. I usually feel a million times better upon hanging up the phone after having one of these conversations with her, but recently that doesn’t seem to be the case. I feel like this stuff with UCF is a never ending fight and I am just getting tired and worn out from it, like my spirit is just being sucked from me.

I know my mom is right though. All of this is happening for a reason. Someday in the future I will look back on it and realize what that purpose was – but for now…bah...I’m just wicked confused and frustrated about it all.

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”