Phillies Spring Training

This past Monday I went to a Phillies spring training game against the Yankees. My Philly Loves lost, but whatever it was fun. I went with some guys from work, one of their fiances, and their 5 month on baby (precious!).

“Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.”

My mom has been having to give me the “everything happens for a reason” lecture/chat/what have you, a lot recently.


It’s probably weird that I remember the first time she ever gave me this lecture, but I do. It was back in my senior year of high school when her and my dad had to sit me down and tell me that they were so proud of me for getting accepted into both of my dream schools (Temple University and Drexel University….both in Philly)but they couldn’t send me for financial reasons. They told me that it broke their hearts that this was the second time they had to give this talk to one of their kids because they had just done it three years prior with my older sister when she got accepted into Boston University. They had known how excited I was to go to Philly, it was like going home. My entire family is there. And for my mom, Temple University was extra exciting because it was her alma mater.

Needless to say, both my older sister and I ended up at UCF. It just made sense. We both had full ride scholarships. My mom and dad had sat both of us (my older sister and I) down at some point during our senior year and told us that “everything happens for a reason” and there was a reason that we were meant to stay in Florida and go to school. And they were, in fact, right. I mean I probably have a list miles long of people I would have never met had I gone in a different direction other than UCF; people who I know will be in my life forever. I’ve made amazing friendships through classes, sorority life, work, and even made amazing friends through other friends. And I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world – they mean so much to me.

Recently, I’ve been calling her a lot more than normal because she is the only person who can reassure me that everything is going to be okay. I tell myself every day that it is truly going to be okay. For Pete’s sake I wrote a whole blog entry about it, I ought to be able to fully believe it by now. Every time I call her in tears she says the same thing.

“Mariah, I know it’s not an ideal situation to have happened, but you know there is a purpose for all of this happening. Just think about it, had you not left UCF you would still be miserable as a Hospitality major. You would have never discovered how passionate you are for Art/Art History and being able to take the time to step back and realize that, at Valencia is a wonderful thing. I am so proud of how you have handled this entire situation and how much you have grown in the past two years.”

It’s actually a talk a lot longer than that, but that pretty much sums it up. I usually feel a million times better upon hanging up the phone after having one of these conversations with her, but recently that doesn’t seem to be the case. I feel like this stuff with UCF is a never ending fight and I am just getting tired and worn out from it, like my spirit is just being sucked from me.

I know my mom is right though. All of this is happening for a reason. Someday in the future I will look back on it and realize what that purpose was – but for now…bah...I’m just wicked confused and frustrated about it all.

“Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Listen hard. Practice wellness. Play with abandon. Laugh. Choose with no regret. Appreciate your friends. Continue to learn. Do what you love. Live as if this is all there is.”

"Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.”

Folks, there really must be something in the air….and for this lady right here, it is most definitely NOT love. Just wanted to clear that up from the beginning. There is no love to be seen within like a million mile radius around me. And I’m totally cool with that.


I don’t know what it is. I woke up yesterday and was just happy. Yes, I’m typically a happy person (for the most part), but this was a different kind of happy. The kind of happy that you only feel when you realize and fully understand that everything is going to be okay. The kind of happy where you are completely content with everything in your life right at this moment and cannot find a single reason to complain. Sure, you may not be where you thought you would be, but that’s okay.

I actually walked into work today a little before 10 o’clock this morning in an amazing mood…and surprisingly left the exact same way 12 hours later. And it’s weird. People notice. They notice when you spend the entire day happy and in a pleasant mood. I actually had a few people ask me what I was smoking and that they wanted some of whatever it was.

I don’t need the boy (boyfriend, fiancée, husband, sugar daddy, whatever), the white picket house thing, the 2.759 children, the gazillions of dollars, the absolutely perfect job that lets me balance said boyfriend/fiancée/husband/sugar daddy and 2.759 children with my desire to travel everywhere, see everything, do everything and skydive. There is a reason that none of that is a part of my life at this moment in time – I’m not ready for any of it and I am so glad for that. Someday, maybe? But today I'm just happy being who I am.

I mean, can you seriously imagine me with 2.759 children….awkward….

To all of my darling readers - I wish you the happiest of days tomorrow, and in everything you do!
 

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.”

I Want Fabulous

Ever since I was younger I have known that Florida was not the place for me. I love it dearly, and it will always hold a sentimental place in my heart since I have lived here about 16 out of my 21 years of life, but I have always envisioned myself someplace more. After graduating high school financial reasons kept me in Florida for college even though I was so itching to get out. Everyday my graduation from college (hopefully UCF, but potentially UNF) creeps closer and closer, even if it is still 2 years away. With my graduation comes the big leap into the ‘real world’ which I have been awaiting for many years, all the struggles that I have been through will finally be laid to rest and I can move on with things. My first step I know will be to move out of state…I know I belong someplace fabulous, I can just feel it. New York City, Philadelphia, Boston, London, Paris, anywhere – I know Philadelphia doesn’t really fit in with the rest of the group, but my heart is there, my family is there. After everything that I have been through I deserve nothing less than fabulous, but I know it demands that I work hard for it and I am more than willing to do so.